Utopia

My last blog was in June 2011. In case you were wondering....yes, my life is busy.

It's the perfect kind of busy. The sort of busy where I lay in bed at the end of the day, snuggled in my downy comforter, and feel a sort of contentment and fulfillment I've never known.

The day always starts like this: I awake to the sweet sounds of my babbling baby boy in the room across the hall. Waking to his chatter is far better than any other alarm clock I've ever had in the past. I open the door to his room, and his sunny smile makes my heart burst with love.

We spend every day playing, laughing, and loving. There is definitely some wrestling and arguing intermingled in there....but all in all, it's perfect.

Sometimes I remember the old me. The me that had never experienced being a mother. And I really don't think I was ever alive. I don't believe that anyone can ever really live until they've seen their mini-me in flesh.

When Avery is wearing his toothy grin, smiling from ear to ear, squealing with delight, and running into my outstretched arms...is when I know that I could die happy.

He loves to eat. He loves Elmo. His feet already stink. He hates having his teeth brushed. He begs worse than Lola. He throws epic tantrums when I tell him "no" that last about .32565 seconds. He knows that putting on his tennis shoes means that we're about to go somewhere exciting. Nothing makes him happier than a warm lap and a stack of books. He loves music and dancing. Lola is his best friend. So much so that he said "Lola" before "momma." He gets grumpy when hungry, just like his Daddy. He hooks his feet on his high chair. He is all boy and quite a daredevil. He has 8 teeth. He grabs my finger so I'll feel his "Touch and Feel" books because that's what I taught him. He has the longest, blackest, thickest, curliest eyelashes, ever. I'm super jealous. His hair still grows straight up to the sky, like dandelion fuzz. He gives Teddy hugs and kisses on command, but not momma.

Life is perfect. Life is simple. He is perfect. I am happy. For you non-parents out there....try having a child. It's pretty freakin' amazing.

Simple Joy...

How exactly do nearly 7 months pass so quickly? Last time I updated my blog I was knee-high in baby poop. Wait...I guess some things never change.

But that's completely untrue, because SO many things have changed!

Instead of being a little burrito that lays around and does nothing, Avery is now mobile. He's crawling and standing. Seems my son is an overachiever like his dad. Not like me, who has always been a total under-achiever. When his report card says "Disruptive, talkative in class" will be when I know he took after me.

It's amazing how fast a day can pass when all I do is feed, change and play with my baby. It's also amazing how much joy those simple things add to my life.

Life is the best right now. I'm my happiest in my yoga pants, Steelers t-shirt, low ponytail and Avery on my hip. I love seeing my son change every day. I love making his baby food. I love seeing his little bird mouth open in anticipation for his yummy apples and cinnamon that I made, just for him. I love seeing his fat little feet and chubby legs wobbling when he pulls himself up to stand. I love picking him up after a nap. He burrows his baby head in my chest and his fuzzy hair grazes my lips. I love breathing in his sweet scent; a mixture of baby lotion, leftover breakfast and a little milk. I love when his roly-poly arms and hands reach out for me. I love when he flashes me his toothless grin and shrieks like a pteryadactol. I love holding him close and feeling the warmth of his little body when I nurse him.

I guess I could go back to work and have a lot more extra money for vacations, a nicer vehicle, a tummy tuck and a boob job.

But as I was told a long time ago...."The best things in life aren't things."

Boogers, Boobs and Baby

Things I've learned as a new mom:

Suddenly, I've grown two more arms.
I can text, use a remote control, throw Lola her ball and feed baby all at the same time.
I'm superwoman.

Gone are the days of sleeping in until noon.
Who am I kidding? Gone are the days of sleeping in until 5.

Hubby and and I haven't spent any alone time together in 2 months.
But I feel closer to him than I ever have.

I miss my pregnant belly.
It was uber nice letting my gut hang out. And looking cute.

I don't miss sweating and hyperventilating walking from my couch to the bathroom 10 feet away.
And having to do so 78 times a day.
That was my excercise while I was pregnant.

A 7 pound baby poops 7 pounds in one day. And still gains weight. It's a mystery.

Nothing goes the way you thought it would. Avery was going to sleep in his crib from day one. Bwahahahaha. Not.

The dog will ask to go outside the second your hands are full with baby. Every. Single. Time.

My life revolves around the boob. The boob and the baby. And when I say "the boob," I'm referring to my milk making factories, not Danny.

I've mastered the art of sleepwalking. And sleepfeeding. And sleepburping and sleepchanging.

Pee and puke are projectile. So is poop.

My daily nemesis is baby boogers.

Everything is funny when you're sleep deprived. Which sounds delightful. However, after having a baby laughing, sneezing and coughing can be dangerous.

You don't have to let yourself go when you've had a baby. Instead of being a hot housewife, now I'm a MILF.

Now, instead of taking a million pictures of Lola, I take two million pictures of Avery.

Being a mom is the best job in the world. (Gag, but it's true.) Whenever I feel stretched thin, Avery gives me his special grin, and I'm on cloud 9.

I never believed in love at first sight.
And then I saw Avery.
Yeah, I totally get it.

My Early Christmas Gift

As many of you already know, my little bundle of joy arrived before any of us anticipated.

No, I didn't go into spontaneous labor as I had hoped.

I had my routine appointment on November 30th, totally oblivious that I was going to get some BIG news.

My blood pressure was still high (150/90) and it had been increasing the longer I was pregnant. I started out lowish (110/70's) and progressively got higher and higher. Yes, I had to do the dreaded 24 hour urine collection twice to rule out pre-eclampsia. All my labs had come back normal, but my doctor was very concerned about my blood pressure at my appointment Tuesday.

"I want you to go in tonight at 10 and we'll get things started." said Dr. Egbert.

I stared at her and blinked fast.

"What do you mean "go in tonight at 10?" I stuttered.

"Now, don't freak out," she said calmly. "Relax, go home, take a nap and pack."

HA! Don't freak out! PSHAW! "Freak Out" is my middle name! I freak out over the slighest things like when I run out of liquid eyeliner, does this woman really think I'm going to be calm knowing I'm going in TONIGHT to have my baby?!

So, I did the necessary things like make phone calls, send out texts, pack and repack and hyperventilate.

Danny came home at noon to be the supportive husband that he is. We laid in bed and tried to nap, clutching on to one another for dear life knowing things were going to get a lot more interesting very soon.

While we were napping, he kept receiving text messages. If you know my husband at all, he barely talks on the phone let alone send or receive texts. I gave him the side eye and said "Who's texting you?"

His face got red and he stammered "No one."

I was really suspicious now.

"WHO was that??"

He lept out of bed, ran to the bathroom and said "Don't you DARE look at my phone!"

Oh, right. Like that's going to be possible.

It was then I discovered it was Julie who was texting Danny. Saying that she was here. As in AT MY HOUSE! I was overjoyed that my BFF had come to support me! She had somehow arranged to come spur of the moment and had wanted to surprise me. And she almost pulled it off! Too bad my darling husband can't lie to save his life. And I'm too nosy for my own good. Lethal combination when it comes to surprises.

Danny's mom had also come to help out, once again being a lifesaver. Between she and Julie, everything was taken care of.

It was really surreal eating dinner that night, hanging out and watching Glee. Like it was any other normal Tuesday evening. But it wasn't. I was going to be a mother soon.


Fast forward to the hospital. They didn't waste ANY time. As soon as I arrived, I was told to pee in cup and put on my gown. And it was a flurry of events from that moment on. I was hooked up to monitors, and started on an IV of Pitocin. My contractions started and they were very mild at first. The nurse had been in contact with my doctor and had been told to inform me that "if I wanted an epidural to get it before she came in at 8am to break my water."

No pressure or anything, sheesh.

I was terrrrrified of getting an epidural. I hadn't banned the idea completely, but I knew it scared the crap outta me. Needles in my spine just gives me slight worries. I had to get to the point where I knew the pain was going to be too much before I would succumb to an epidural.

Well, the second stage of contractions kicked in and I was starting to get uncomfortable. My nurse was fantastic and she talked me through everything. The pros, the cons...and let me make up my own mind. I decided at 5 AM (labor had been about 6 hours at this point) to get the epidural.

I have to say that the actual epidural did not hurt at all. I thought getting the IV was a lot more painful. But alas, I had the "weird" epidural...the half-sided epidural. It only took effect on the right side of my body. I was in major pain at this point. My doctor came in promply at 8AM to break my water, and it was very apparent to her that my epidural was NOT working as I was crying in discomfort. My nurse knew my epidural was obviously not working when I could feel my urinary catheter being inserted. So, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me a bolus of medication. This still didn't work. She finally "tweaked" the epidural catheter and finally, it helped. However, the medication still only took effect on half my body for an hour at a time and would fade.

So my labor was very unique. I got to experience true contractions AND what it felt like to have an epidural. And let me tell you---I prefer having the epidural fo sho.

After nearly 20 hours of labor, it was TIME. I told my nurse repeatedly that I was going to die and that I was too tired. I informed her that I was sorry, there was no way I was going to be able to push. But somehow, I did. I don't know how. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. And pushed. I could hear the nurse talking about how I needed to get the baby to a certain point and that the doctor would be able to help with forceps, but I was nowhere near that point yet. I was so tired. I heard the dreaded words "C-Section" and there was NO WAY IN HELL that after nearly 20 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing was I going to have a C-section. So, I found that extra "oomph" and determination deep inside and just kept on keeping on. I wouldn't have been able to do it without Danny and Julie cheering me on.

Finally, after nearly 3 exhausting hours...Avery Paul was born at 8:09pm.

I will never forget what it felt like to hear his cry for the first time.

It was the most beautiful sound in the world. I could hear Avery crying to my right. And to my left, I heard the sounds of my emotional husband weeping in joy.

The first thing I uttered when they placed my son in my arms was "He has my nose!"

And he did. It's a little button nose that looks just like mine, just tiny. And he has his Daddy's chin and his blue eyes. Yes, his eyes may change to brown. But for now, they're blue. Which is unusual for an Asian baby.

They did have to keep him in the NICU for the night. He had a little respiratory distress, probably due to him being a little early. He was born at 37 weeks and 5 days gestation. He was a nice, healthy 7 lbs 3 oz and 20 inches long. That's not too shabby for being born 16 days before his due date!

So, we've been home now for over two weeks and we are all adjusting well.

He's already well over 8 lbs, gaining over a pound in just 1 week.

In January we are meeting with the pediatric surgeon at Children's Cincy to see what the next steps are for his CPAM diagnosis. We are very optimistic. Maybe we won't have to have surgery at all...? We are hoping and praying!

To all you moms...I finally see what the fuss is all about. Being a mom is thrilling, rewarding, and a blessing.

Thanksgiving, Housework, and Bedrest

Hello, All!

Well, the end is officially near.

At my appointment Tuesday I was dilated 3 cm and was told by the nurse practicioner that she was 80% sure I'd have the baby within the week. Well, here it is Saturday and uhhhh...Avery shows no signs of leaving his tight, cramped quarters. At least I am officially full term now, so if he DID decide to evict himself, all would be good. HOWEVER...my doctor is in Mexico, so I'd prefer if he waited till she lands safely on Dayton, Ohio soil.

Unfortunately, I had elevated blood pressure at my appointment and put on modified bed rest.
I know I would have HATED bedrest if it were any earlier in my pregnancy. But being uncomfortable and tired all the time, it's kind of nice being ordered to rest. Danny has been an angel. So far today he did 5 loads of laundry, all the sheets, ironed the guest sheets (even though he thinks I'm weird), got groceries, and worked on the basement. AND last week he helped me clean the whole house, EVEN toilets.

Danny's mom was amazing and came to spend Thanksgiving with us. She went all out, spoiled us rotten, let me lay around and did all the cooking. I was slightly bummed about not being in Fredericktown for Thanksgiving this year (and we won't be going for Christmas). It felt like a real holiday because she was here.

She went with us to my ultrasound Friday and got to see her first grandchild on the screen. She loved it, and I was excited to share that with her. Oh, and we got another weight. 7 pounds 10 ounces, still gaining weight happily in the 90th percentile.

So, here we are, only two weeks away from induction! I would honestly LOVE to go into natural labor without being induced. Who knows, maybe I'll get my wish?

Me on a Warpath...look out!

Man, I was in a crappy mood yesterday.

Everything annoyed me. Even my sweet pug, Lola was on my last nerve. She never annoys me. Danny, however, is another story. Anyway, Lola was constantly under my feet yesterday, following me everywhere...I was making dinner and she was at the stove, snorting, licking the floor, pudging around and I could NOT take it anymore. I yelled "get in your box!" and I slammed her crate's door shut. She looked up at me with huge, doey brown eyes and jumped back when I slammed the door shut. I've never seen such shock in her eyes before.

I did not care.

I just felt so irritated at everything. Irritated, annoyed, pissy...you know, a real joy to be around.

Danny made it worse by laughing at me. I found this even more infurtiating.

He decided to take Lola for a run after dinner, and I decided I needed to unwind and take a bath. Taking a bath is very difficult when you have nearly 10 pounds strapped to your waist. I relaxed as much as I could and decided to reflect on my piss-poor mood and figure out what my problem was.

It wasn't really Lola's fault, it wasn't really Danny's fault. Well, it kinda is because he's the one who did this to me. But in reality, no, it's not really his fault.

It hit me that I have major cabin fever, but at the same time, don't feel well enough to go anywhere. So, my question is...if I don't feel like being home, but I don't feel good enough to go anywhere, what do I do? I only work 8 or so hours a week, so the rest of the time, I am stuck here.

I felt a little better after I figured out what was bothering me. Lola came back from her run with Danny much more calm, relaxed and less annoying. Things were OK again.

We went to church this morning, so I feel like I got out of the house, and that helped my mood, too.

I'm decorating for Christmas, so I feel generally more cheerful. I can't be surly when I'm putting up garland and stockings and the tree.

And...decorating for Christmas means my son will be here very soon. My sweet, baby...the little chunk I can feel moving in my belly will finally be in my arms by Christmas Day. He will be home...laying on this very couch, snuggling with my pug dog, next to the cozy fire. I can't wait to nuzzle his soft, chubby cheeks and smell his sweet baby smell.

Cabin fever or not, how can I be in a bad mood when I have that to look forward to?

Whether or not I believe it....babies DO eventually come out!

I've been walking around in a constant state of denial.

Did you know that when you are pregnant, the baby HAS to come out at some point? Well...newsflash, THEY DO.

I don't think it seemed so real until I was informed that my doctors would like me to be induced at 39 weeks, which would be December 10. I panicked. Oh, outwardly I maintained my composure, but inside I was FLIPPING OUT.

There was an attractive quality about "not knowing" when he'd be here...like, it was almost not real. My original due date was December 17th, but everyone knows babies don't come on their due date! But....now I KNOW when he's coming. And that's the LATEST he will be coming! I could go into spontaneous labor BEFORE December 10th!

And that means...in a mere 6 weeks and 4 days...I will be a mom. Unless of course my son decides to grace us with his presence before then.

I guess part of the reason they want to induce is so all the specialists can be present. I don't know why....he's not having surgery until the Spring. But another reason they want to induce is because he's a lard ass. Danny likes to gleefully remind me: "Babe! I was a 10 pound baby!! That means Avery's going to be HUGE!" And he says this like it's a wonderful thing.

I like to glare and give him the evil eye.

Here's how I feel about giving birth.
1.) I don't want to do it.
2.) Being induced scares me.
3.) Spontaneous birth scares me.
4.) C-Sections scare me.
5.) Epidurals scare me.
6.) Labor in general scares me.

Besides that, I'm mentally prepared, so that's good.

Ready or not...here he comes!